Thursday, January 3, 2013

Marriage Resolutions for Thought

Happy New Year!  I don't know how it is 2013 already.  Frankly though, I work in next year ALL THE TIME, just seems the date has finally caught up with my work.  Since I know a number of my former brides still check the blog, I figured this would be a good post for them as well as those whose nuptials are upon us for the new year to keep in mind.

I read an article in the Huffington Post by M. Gary Neuman outlining three simple resolutions for your marriage.  We all know the most common resolution- lose weight- but most people I see that make that resolution don't really need to lose weight.  Perhaps get in better shape is a better resolution.  I digress, after 3 years of marriage, to my excellent, hard working, supportive husband (who still leaves the dishes in the sink overnight!) these three resolutions struck a chord with me.  We are not in trouble, we don't fight or have tension, but we are lacking in the following areas.  That's not to say we don't EVER do these things.  But I wonder how much better it would be if we did them as frequently as suggested.

Take a look.  Hope this can be slightly helpful to some of you in remembering the person you are marrying is really more important than the day of celebration :)

1. Daily Time- this is easy!  Neuman suggests 30 minutes a day.  Not so hard.  For me, that would mean sitting for dinner without the TV on- even though it is Jeopardy recorded- and just talking for 30 minutes about your day, what you have going on tomorrow, what birthdays are coming up that you need to remember, etc.  You can also discuss number 2.

2. Date Night- Once a week, outside of the house for 2 hours minimum.  No other couples invited.  This could be for a walk, to sit in Starbucks, out for dinner, a movie, a comedy show, etc.  And it can change every week!  Just make sure to do it every week- schedule it, just as important as a work meeting.

3. Make 3 appreciative gestures a day- Yikes!  I used to leave notes around the house, in his car, etc.  I bet that made him feel good.  I don't make the time anymore and I should.  We don't say I love you every time we hang up the phone.  That's ok.  But I could probably say hello or walk over to the door when he gets home at night.  Maybe thank him for working so hard during the day (before I yell at him for letting the dishes sit again)

Anyway, annoying as it is to think about having to "work" at your marriage, there is some merit to these three suggestions.  I think I'll try them out and let you know if anything changes.  If you don't try, it just may be some food for thought.   Happy 2013!  Can't wait for all my amazing weddings this year.